"Men are not disturbed by things, but by the views which they take of them." Epictetus
The first principle of REBT is that our psychological functioning is ultimately determined by the ways in which we interpret our experience. While it is true that our biological constitution and developmental histories also play a role, it is the meaning we assign to events that has the ultimate say. If you have pain in your chest and interpret it to mean you’re having a heart attack, you will feel and act differently than if you believe you pulled a muscle. If you fail a test and subsequently rate yourself as a total failure, you will experience despair rather than a disappointing setback. This principle highlights that our minds are active filtering systems, constantly translating raw events into emotional realities.
2. Demandingness
A second core principle of REBT is that demandingness—the tendency to treat what are, in fact, personal preferences as if they were absolute necessities—lies at the heart of much emotional and behavioral distress.
Human beings naturally hold subjective personal preferences: we enjoy certain routines, we want to succeed, we would like others to treat us fairly, and we prefer that life be comfortable and pleasant. Pursuing these desires is entirely healthy and fulfilling. On the other hand, not fulfilling our desires can indeed be painful, but pain is not necessarily a dysfunctional emotion.
The problem begins when we go from desiring something to absolutely demanding it. When we insist that "I have to succeed" or that life must go our way, we treat something that does not have to be as if it absolutely must be. If something absolutely had to turn out a particular way, the option of failing would not in fact exist. It would be more like the laws of gravity.
There is another critical component to demandingness: not only do we demand that the universe be a certain way, but we also believe that if the rules are broken, the consequences will be equally rigid and extreme. In REBT, demandingness typically takes three forms—notice how each extreme demand is followed by an equally extreme consequence:
Demands on the self: "I must always succeed; failing means I am worthless."
Demands on others: "You must treat me fairly; if you don't, you are a horrible human being."
Demands on life: "Conditions must be comfortable; it is unbearable when they are not."
The primary work of REBT is helping clients identify these fundamental dysfunctional attitudes, recognize them as denials of objective reality, and replace them with flexible, realistic alternatives.
3. The Three Derivatives
A third core principle of REBT is that demandingness generates three derivative attitudes that are frequently associated with psychological distress: awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations.
These are referred to as "derivatives" because they stem directly from foundational, rigid demands. For instance, if we hold a fundamental demand that we must be perfect, we leave zero room for error when reality falls short. This forces an all-or-nothing mindset, driving us to evaluate ourselves—and others—globally rather than specifically.
These three derivative attitudes manifest as follows:
Awfulizing: The irrational belief that an event is more than one hundred percent bad (e.g., treating a painful setback as "horrible" or "catastrophic" rather than merely unfortunate). While life naturally includes painful events, awfulizing exaggerates them beyond reality.
Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT): The mindset that discomfort or emotional pain is entirely unbearable rather than simply difficult (e.g., telling oneself, "I can’t stand this" or "I can’t bear it").
Global Evaluations: The tendency to judge ourselves, others, or life as a total entity based on a single trait or behavior (e.g., concluding "He’s a total loser because he lost the game" rather than recognizing that he simply played a poor match).
When we demand that the universe must bend to our rules, and the universe does what the universe does, we don’t back down. Instead, we gravitate towards these derivatives as a means of maintaining our unrealistic expectations.
4. Human Fallibility
A fourth principle of REBT is that human beings are born, for all practical purposes, in a state of near-total ignorance and remain fundamentally fallible throughout their lives. In other words, we never become the opposite of our natures: all-knowing.
As we grow and unfold, we learn to adapt, navigate our environments, and acquire knowledge, becoming less ignorant than we were at birth. However, our basic nature does not fundamentally change. We never transition from total ignorance to total knowledge; rather, we remain creatures of limited perspective trying to navigate a vast, complex universe.
Because our understanding is inherently limited, we are fundamentally mistake-making machines—inherently prone to gullibility, cognitive shortcuts, and error. Recognizing this innate fallibility is crucial in REBT: we see mistakes as a natural part of being human and the predictable result of a fallible brain trying to make sense of a complicated world.
When we rate ourselves globally as good, bad, or worthless, we basically deny our nature, which is that we start by getting most things wrong and, over time, we start getting some right and some wrong. That we make mistakes doesn’t mean we are mistakes.
5. The Fallacy of Self-Worth
A fifth core principle of REBT is the fallacy of "self-worth." In everyday language, we treat self-worth as something we either possess or lack, much like a car that has value because of what it can do. But applying this transactional concept to human beings creates a trap: it implies that some people have worth and others do not, and that our value must be continually earned through our achievements, traits, or approval.
REBT argues that the very act of rating "self-worth" is fundamentally flawed. While we can evaluate specific behaviors, performances, and accomplishments (such as whether we did a good job on a test or played a sport well), human beings are far too complex, dynamic, and multifaceted to ever be globally rated.
When we try to sum up a human life and say, "Because you did this well, you have worth, and because you failed at that, you have no worth," we treat a living, changing organism as if it were a manufactured product with a price tag. Because we are too complex to be measured on a single scale of worth, the healthiest psychological move is not to boost our self-worth, but to abandon the entire practice of self-rating altogether. It’s another instance of learning to treat the universe as it is and not as how we want it to be.
6. Unconditional Acceptance
A sixth core principle of REBT is unconditional acceptance—defined as an active, deliberate refusal to put conditions on our own worth, the worth of others, or the unfolding of life itself.
Because human beings cannot be measured like commodities, and because we are fundamentally fallible, mistake-making machines, taking one dimension of our being and coming up with a rating based on that one dimension is misleading and a recipe for limitless suffering.
Unconditional acceptance is the idea that we accept ourselves and others as we are: a collection of fallible creatures who do some things well and some not so well.
Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA): Refusing to measure your worth based on your achievements, approvals, or failures. USA means accepting yourself simply because you are a living, feeling human being—flaws, mistakes, and all.
Unconditional Other-Acceptance (UOA): Refusing to demand that other people must treat us fairly or act rationally. UOA means accepting them as the complex, fallible creatures they are, even when their behavior is disappointing, frustrating, or disagreeable.
Unconditional Life-Acceptance (ULA): Refusing to demand that conditions must be pleasant or comfortable. ULA means accepting that the universe operates according to natural laws, chance, and probability, acknowledging that reality simply is what it is—hardship, pain, and all.
Unconditional acceptance does not mean approving of bad behavior, condoning injustice, or surrendering our desire to improve. Rather, it means that just because you act unjustly, it does not make you an unjust human; or because you act cruelly, you are not a permanently cruel human. By understanding this, we learn to see ourselves as humans who occasionally act badly rather than inherently bad humans.
7. Emotional Responsibility
A seventh core principle of REBT is emotional responsibility—the recognition that we play a major role in generating our own emotional responses. Most of us live as though events and emotions are fused together—when someone cuts us off in traffic, the event and our rage feel like a single package. REBT directs us to the breathing space between the two. Accepting that we contribute to our own suffering can at first feel daunting. However, REBT frames this accountability as the ultimate key to personal freedom. When we stop viewing ourselves as helpless victims of circumstance and accept that we author our emotional reactions by how we interpret them, we reclaim our power to choose how we respond.
8. Change Takes Practice
An eighth and final principle of REBT is that change takes practice. These fundamental beliefs that determine how we feel and act toward specific events have been acquired over many years; they have become habitual, automatic, and highly resistant to change. However, with sufficient practice, change does take place. REBT is particularly well-known for emphasizing that the actual therapy session is only a minor component of the change process. Real transformation happens in between sessions, as you actively apply these principles to your everyday life. While recent evidence regarding neuroplasticity proves that the neural pathways built over the years can indeed be modified, doing so requires deliberate, ongoing effort and repetition.